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A Midlife Reinvention Requirement (continued)

May '13

Last month’s edition of Midlife Discovery focused on creating a nurturing environment (i.e. a cocoon) to protect the profound, internal restructuring of the midlife metamorphosis. As promised, this month’s edition continues that theme by suggesting ways to establish this environment in the places you inhabit, and with the people around you.

Places – How To

After you clear the clutter out of your home with the approaches outlined in last month’s newsletter, you may look around and realize the colors in your rooms no longer please you. Just as you might discover a desire for brighter clothing when you clear out your closet, you may also find a craving for a particular shade in the spaces around you – peach for example. By all means honor this wish, because it reflects the new, emerging you. Paper a bathroom, or paint a wall, or buy a throw, or pick out pillows that reflect that perfect shade of peach for this transition time in your life. Then step back to admire the changes you wrought.

Consider the spaces where you spend your days and bring them up to date to reflect the woman you are becoming. You may not be able to describe her yet, but you probably know what she likes and what she doesn’t; what fascinates her and what bores her. While you have less control over an office at work, you can still make changes that will dramatically affect the emotional feel of your workspace. A large wall hanging of embroidered elephants, for example, portrays a different reality from a bold graphic print. Find those elements that scream, “This is me.”

As a final suggestion for nourishing places, consider heading for those locations that just plain, “nurture your soul.” For many folks, any spot in nature can soothe away the cares of daily living, and even the bigger ones of life. By all means head for the beach to put your toes in soft, white sand and hear the restful sound of waves gently lapping the shore, or take a hike in the mountains to sniff the intoxicating scent of pine and feel the refreshment of cooler air as you climb higher and higher.

People – How To

When enmeshed in this midlife period, you may notice that spending time with some of your friends and acquaintances doesn’t nourish you in the same way. Maybe your monthly book group begins to feel more like a chore than a rewarding evening. Or the opposite could be the case – just when you were evaluating your ongoing participation in your book group, you leave an evening discussion so wired you have trouble getting to sleep. By all means, honor every one of those feelings during this transition.

It’s OK if you do not find the same kind happy energy in your exchanges with friends and acquaintances. No need to blame anyone here – including yourself – or to fix the other person, or situation.  As Sonia Sotomayor recently noted in an interview on Book TV, “If you fix this, things will be better – what a useless conversation!” No need to do anything other than watch your own internal responses, and release any charged feelings. Some friendships and groups may fade and others may grow as you let old patterns go and bring in new approaches to living.

Finally, Id love to hear about the ways you have discovered to construct a nurturing environment for yourself.
Bonnie

P.S. A reminder: only 3 days remain to take advantage of the 25% discount for my Midlife Journaling eCourse, Reinvent Your Life ~ Write Now,  now offered for $35.00.

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