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Change, Change, Change

February '11

Have you been feeling the ground shifting beneath your feet of late?  This may be no surprise with today’s world in serious flux – including our recent weather patterns. In my neck of the woods, we’ve experienced a record-breaking snowfall year and as far as I’m concerned, the record can stand for the next few decades.

In addition, if you’re a woman at midlife, the sands may be swirling in your personal universe. Maybe you’re looking at an empty nest as your last born heads off to college, or perhaps you’ve become a caretaker for a parent. Or, maybe you were downsized, and have joined the vanguard of the unemployed.

Each of these trigger events requires a challenging role adjustment on your part. If you’re not the Mom of the house, then who are you?  Or if you’re no longer the daughter to be cared for, but the daughter doing the caring, then what does that mean? And if you’re not employed, then how do you answer the question most folks ask, when meeting you for the first time, “What do you do?”

Any role you’ve inhabited for years contributes to your basic definition of Self. When a role that has structured your days departs, you may find yourself spiraling into a void of identity confusion. To emerge from that huge, empty space, you need to answer an essential question: “Who am I now?” While time-consuming, such self-examination is critical for creating a new life. Without it, the next chapter you write for yourself will not be half as exciting, or fulfilling.

There are many ways to embark on this process of self-discovery. It may sound obvious, but the first step is to carve out the necessary time to start this inner work. Next month, I’ll describe some approaches you can use and some pit stops en route, but first I’d like to hear from you. Maybe you’ve already found ways to learn more about that woman you are becoming. What you have tried? What worked and what didn’t work for you?  (Both are valuable.)

Meanwhile, not that I’m counting or anything, but Spring is less than a month away!

P.S. Speaking of change, once Spring officially arrives, I will be charging $30 for my 30-minute consultation, which is currently FREE.  So if you’d like to take advantage of a complimentary opportunity to learn more about who you are and what you want, simply contact me before March 20th.


  1. Victoria said on February 27, 2011:


    Thank you as always-I enjoyed reading your latest newsletter.

    I’ve taken some time off from work this winter to finish my thesis and in May, I’ll graduate with a nurse practitioner degree. This summer, I plan to open a private practice. This new and exciting change for me brings some apprehension as I know very little about business.

    To prepare, I’ve been getting involved with mentoring activities to bridge the gap from student to novice nurse practitioner. This helps with me with both self examination and goal setting. It also reveals how much I still have to learn!

    As I think about becoming a business owner, I am mindful of the roles I’ve had-wife, mother, nurse, student-and with gratitude I acknowledge the ways they helped me become the woman I am now at 51.

    Looking ahead, I’m planning for my spring garden with joy and anticipation as the New Hampshire snow continues…

    Looking forward to your March issue,

  2. Bonnie said on February 27, 2011:

    Hi Victoria!

    Congratulations on so many fronts: the thesis work, your upcoming graduation, opening a new practice and your very wise preparation work. Love your notion of getting involved with mentoring folks who want to bridge the gap from student to novice nurse practitioner – what a wonderful idea!

    Good luck as you move forward!

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